I don’t know why, but I have such trouble focusing on the present and appreciating it for what it is. I’m usually wishing my Life is different––with the distinct line of thought that if my Life were different, then I’d be happy.
Which is why, even though I’ve only lived in Massachusetts for only 3½ years, I’ve already lived in four towns. I keep moving around trying to find happiness. Yet no matter where I’ve lived, I still found myself unhappy.
I’m trying really hard to change that now.
So in my new place in town, I try and stay focused on all the things I do have here. Namely, warmth and friendship. Because for the first time in 17 years, I’m living with a roommate. I’m enjoying the instant company she provides, and how when her friends come over, the house has an instant festive feel.
Also, I have a yoga studio and pleasant café literally up the block. And I meet friends who are nearby neighbors walking on the street. (The only visitors I had in posh Manchester were the wild turkeys that walked across my backyard everyday.)
Although my past looks to me like a flawed map––leading me to nowhere in particular in Life––this is the first place where I am making a concerted effort to stay in the present and be happy. And for that attempt alone, I love it here and know I’ll always remember this time in my life fondly when I eventually do move on.
